Sunday, March 4, 2012

Vampire Knight Chapters 79 & 80

Hi all!  Finally catching a moment to ramble a bit about the latest chapters. :)  Below are the links where I read them.  I tend to read them on mangareader.net simply because they are easy to find and to click through. I'm not terribly active in the fan community right now so I don't know if there are better scans or translations elsewhere, if so please feel free to post links to them in the comments.

Vampire Knight Chapter 79
Vampire Knight Chapter 80


SPOILERS AHEAD....


Okay, so!  Taking them in order, starting with 79...

Wow, so much angst for everyone in this chapter!  For our main trio of course - Yuki, Kaname and Zero, but also for everyone else, including Aido and Kain, and Takuma.

We finally find out what it is Kaname did that has been hinted at the past few chapters.  From a writer's perspective, Ms. Hino did a pretty good job coming up with that I think. Kaname having been the one who released Shizuka from her cage is something I can see happening.  It's dark enough that you can see why Zero is (and has a right to be) upset about it and yet it's also in its own way benign and hands-off enough that it's not out of character for Kaname.  What I mean is, what Shizuka chose to do, that was her choice.  She was free, she could have done anything.  IMO, the blame for what she did to Zero's family still rests with her. She had free will, nobody made her do anything.  Yet at the same time, of course, we realize that Kaname being the chess player he is knew the odds when it came to what she would do if she were freed, and banked on them. You have to take some responsibility for what happens when you set something like that in motion, especially if it was intentional.  I will say that I don't think he necessarily counted on what happened with Ichiru and Zero.  He obviously wanted the twins to hate purebloods for killing their parents, but the fact is that Ichiru ended up feeling quite the opposite and it's because of Ichiru that Shizuka turned Zero, so I think their messed up family dynamic possibly added it's own wrinkle to events.

I'm sure everyone will have very different opinions on this subject. For me, I obviously disapprove of what Kaname did, and I feel bad for Zero, but at the same time I don't hate Kaname for it. It's a sign of how well written his character has been that one can get to this point and still feel so bad for him. For me at least, I think it's because we have seen enough over the past 80 or so chapters to know that his true heart is gentle, kind and lonely, but the path he has chosen means he has done many things that brings pain, harm and death to others.  He knows it too. It explains the sadness that has been with him since the beginning. His underlying nature is at odds with the life he feels he must live which is why he sees himself as a monster, why he does not expect, nor know how to accept anyone's love.  I think it's why he pushes everyone away and lets them think the worst of him, because he feels it's true.

His loneliness and the revilement of others is the punishment he inflicts on himself for what he's done. He didn't have to tell Zero and Yuki the truth of why he set Shizuka free.  He could have lied. Zero may not have bought it, but I think if he'd said he hadn't intended what happened, Yuki would have believed him. But he doesn't want her to.  He wants her to know what he is and what he's done. I think the fact that he won't hide from the hatred he expects in others is how he shows remorse, because any other indication would be weakness he cannot allow.  He doesn't lie to them to paint himself in a nice light like Sara does.

Rido and Sara enjoyed other people's suffering, manipulate others for their own gain and desires and not caring about the pain they caused. Not so with Kaname. I think he is fully capable of doing just as much damage, but it is not something he enjoys or does for his own benefit. I think that's why I feel so bad for him. I don't fully understand why he feels he must do what he's doing, but whatever the reason be it ultimately right or wrong, he believes it must be done and that it's more important than his own wishes or happiness.  I think that's why he keeps saying Yuki is a hinderence... because she made him want something else.  Made him think for a little while that maybe he could let go and hide from what he seems to consider his destiny.  I think every time he sees her, he feels that way and it hurts and makes it hard to continue.  Again, in my opinion anyway.

I find it sweet in a sad, angsty way that Kaname actually seems rather determined to push Zero and Yuki together now. He is intentionally trying to push Yuki away and relieve her of her feelings for him.  There's no other reason for him to have just popped in long enough to drop that bit of damning information on the two of them before disappearing again.  Yes, he obviously still wants Zero to hate purebloods, but Zero kinda already did, lol.  I could be wrong of course, but I kind of think Kaname knows how conflicted Yuki has been about her feelings for the two of them and he's trying to make it easy for her.

Should she actually get in the way of his plans, as there is a chance she might, it will be interesting to see what happens.  Naturally, that would be the most angst-ridden showdown of all and I have no idea what would happen. I wonder if Ms. Hino will go there?  Hm, guess we'll have to wait and see.

I also found it quite sweet that Zero sort of more or less admitted he'd expected Kaname and Yuki to end up together, and that he wanted her to be happy, even when he obviously wasn't acting like it.  It's nice when we get a little glimpse into him like that. You totally felt for his pain through that whole exchange, it's kind of sad and bittersweet that you can tell that even feeling about Kaname like he already did, part of Zero didn't actually want to believe it that he'd done it to them intentionally.  He already knew, but some part of him didn't seem to want to believe until he heard it from Kaname directly, and that just makes me want to hug him tightly. The fact that his anger was mostly on Ichiru's behalf also gave me the same urge.

Moving on to another trio you get to feel kind of bad for this chapter... Aido, Kain and Ruka.  Perhaps because we've been having so much angst all along between the main trio, I found the brief confrontation between our two favorite cousins to be almost the most striking bit of the chapter.  I never really expected to see Kain and Aido turn their powers against each other even just in passing.  Since I have a feeling that everything may hopefully work out okay for them in the end, I have to admit I rather enjoy the angsty drama of it. ;)  And there is of course, the irony that when things finally go down, it's Kain on Kaname's side and not Aido.  Although of course Kain is actually just on Ruka's side and Ruka's on Kaname's, but yeah, we all know that.

And off to yet another brief angsty instance - when Takuma gets between Kaname and Sara - I find it bittersweet that Takuma is trying to use the messed up situation he's in to help Kaname in his own way, or at least wishing it would.  Like hoping that maybe if Sara was trying to kill all the purebloods anyway, it would be enough and Kaname could just disappear with Yuki and not have to follow this destiny that is destroying him. It can't be of course, but it's sweet and sad that Takuma wishes it could.

And speaking of Takuma naturally leads me right into rambling about Chapter 80...

Okay, to be honest, I have a few mixed feelings about this chapter.  A lot of very interesting and very emotional information, but what with hopping back and forth in time and between different people's perspectives and memories it wasn't the easiest chapter to follow.

The first bit with Ruka's memories was really interesting and sad. The way Kaname was holding Yuki so tightly and protectively even as he was obviously making the decision that he had to leave her and return to the course that made her a hindrance for him made me sad, especially as seen through Ruka's eyes. You really have to like Ruka there, like in the other flashback some time ago when she kept Kaname from drinking from Yuki before he really wanted to.  It's sweet that she was able to be happy if she could think that Kaname would be happy with Yuki, and how it distressed her when that didn't work out.

I also like that she was the one trying to tell Kain to wait, wanting to explain what they were doing to Aido and get him on board.  :)  AND I like that she got ticked at Kain for being over protective.  LOL even though I don't blame Kain one bit.  It was cute that that one boy actually remembered her despite his memory wipe and her reaction was sweet.

So, moving back to Takuma whom IMO you feel the most for this chapter.  Oh. Man.  That poor, poor guy. He is so totally messed up by all the purebloods in his life, lol.  The way he is clinging so desperately to the idea that in some twisted way Sara loves him just makes me ache for him. Especially since... okay, I am possibly reading too much into this, but given some of the imagery and the words used it is very easy to kind of assume that Sara has been using him sexually. It may not be the effect Ms. Hino intended, but it is possibly the closest thing to semi-non-con or at least dub-con we'll see in this series. I mean, Sara is touching Takuma pretty familiarly in a lot of the scenes and it could have just been representational of her beauty and power, but ya know... she looked a wee bit impressionistically naked in that one panel where her hair is all around her. She said she always wanted him, and one can take that any way they want to, but the fact that he's trying to turn it into a kind of love confession in his own mind sort of suggests to me that he needs a reason to feel that he's not just completely being used.  Of course, the fact that she was watching him like that since he was a kid is a wee bit creepy. ;)  As is the fact that you also get the feeling she is capable of being quite abusive, especially when made jealous.

That's not to say that he's completely off base either, I wouldn't say love but probably the words Sara herself used are the most apt, she certainly does seem to want him, more than as a passing fancy.  It's kind of ironic and bittersweet that part of it seems to be the way he interacted so casually and without fear with Kaname.  I think in way, she wanted that from someone too, which would make me feel a little sorry for her too if I could stop disliking her for 5 minutes.  Someday I might.  Today is not that day.  ;)

I cannot decide to myself if Takuma actually likes Sara for herself and that hint of loneliness that is in her that he always seems attracted to in people, or if when he says that among purebloods, one belongs only to him... you are sort of getting the hint that there was a different pureblood he wanted who never could belong to him. Of course, as was also clearly stated, a big part of it is the whole draw of the pureblood thing.  I have to say that after having written a lot about the unwanted attraction and confusion created by vampire physiology and having myself liked the whole moth to the flame analogy, I was actually quite amused and tickled to see it used here to describe Takuma's situation.

And of course, we have that lovely panel with Kaname and Takuma facing each other over the sword (and Kaname's hand - ouch! Guess that's what usually happens when Vampires have to touch anti-vampire weapons). They both do the whole I don't want to be here doing this and I don't want to hurt you but I cannot stop and you are in my way resignation with such painful loveliness. They always have, since they always seem to end up somewhat at odds.

Then right about there is where the flow gets kind of choppy for me and I feel like I don't have a totally firm grip on what is going on, but maybe that's the intended effect?  I had to read it a couple times and then I think I mostly got it sorted out.

Looks as if Yuki and Zero have kind of come up with their own plan, so we'll see how that turns out.  It was a nice moment when she told him she wasn't worried about him anymore which also implies she trusts him.  No way to know if I'm reading it right, but if I am, I kind of like the idea that Zero may actually be the one sort of manipulating Sara now, letting her think that she's swayed him while he is actually following along with Yuki's idea. :)

I don't want the series to end and I have a feeling that tragedy of some sort will wait for us there (although, I hold out hope there will be some happiness too), but at the same time I kind of hope that things continue to build and come to a head over the next few chapters. The past couple chapters feel like we're getting fairly close to a final shakeout of events, it would be kind of annoying if things settle down again too much.  We'll see what happens I guess!

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Friday, February 3, 2012

New Secrets Chapter Posted!

Okay, well, you know how New Years resolutions are, they almost always get broken.  I didn't quite get the next chapter of my fic done in January, but it was really close, right??  *cough* okay, well, anyway, I FINALLY got the next chapter of "Secrets in the Dark" done!

As seems to be the norm for this story, it's taking longer than anticipated to cover what needs to be covered, so there may end up being two more chapters instead of just one more.  This one kind of got hi-jacked part way through by a squad of rebel lemons who seemed to think it had been too long since I wrote a love scene. XD  Sooo... yeah, I didn't cover as much ground as I expected and the final revelation of the full truth behind everything that happened this story will be coming next chapter.

Hopefully the wrangling to get them free of the Hunters and all that doesn't come across too dull.  There are bound to be a lot of ramifications because of everything that happened, especially the revelation of Zero's growing power.  I didn't want to belabor the point, but I didn't want to gloss over it either. Ah well, it is what it is, hopefully it's not too bad.

So without further ado, I present to you...

Secrets in the Dark 
Chapter Thirty-Seven: "Surviving the Fallout"


Read it on FFN
Read it on AO3
Read it on VKO


Thank you all again for your patience, support and sweet, wonderful reviews!!!!

P.S. I read Vampire Knight Chapter 79 and I want to ramble about it badly, but wow, there is so much angst for pretty much every single person in the chapter and I don't have time to go into it just now.  I will post more about my impressions of the chapter later.

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Saturday, January 7, 2012

Vampire Knight 78 & Bonus Story

Hope everyone had a great holiday and that 2012 is treating you all good thus far! My New Years resolution is that I'm going to get the next chapter of Secrets in the Dark done and posted this month even if it kills me, lol. 

In the meantime, I have finally had a chance to catch up on some of my VK reading, such as the cute Volume 15 Bonus story and lovely pictures that Sagakure posted here. (Thanks!!)

SPOILERS BELOW

I find it very interesting that Takuma knew about Kaname being the ancestor, and has apparently known for a long time, maybe since they were kids. He really did know Kaname better than anyone. The way Sara says Kaname "confessed" these things to Takuma gives me all kinds of bunnies for how exactly that information came out... like for instance, I could imagine it possibly being some time when things are bad, and Kaname's lonely and hurting. Takuma's trying to cheer him up and it just makes Kaname ache more because he knows Takuma's relating to someone who doesn't exist, to a Kaname he thinks he knows, but doesn't.  No one really knows him, and no one cares about him for who he actually is, they couldn't, because he isn't worthy of emotions like that.  So to push Takuma away, Kaname tells him the truth. He's steeling himself inwardly for the rejection to follow, but it doesn't come, because Takuma's not like that.  It could be kind of sweet, really.  Of course, I have other bunnies on how it could have happened too... lol all of them angsty of course.

Oh gosh, and I love the awful little doodle Kaname drew of Yuki! XD That was so cute!  *giggles* complete with flowers and a curiously dour, growling little dog!  (At first I thought maybe that was his shade form with Yuki, but it would probably look happy to be with her, so given the expression, I think the doggie in the picture is Zero XD).  For some reason Kaname drawing something like that just cracks me up.  LOL and poor Aido, doesn't Takuma know that Aido probably would have thought anything Kaname drew was better than the Mona Lisa? ;D

Kaname and Zero's semi-cooperation in getting rid of that other unwanted suitor of Yuki's was also cute.  Kaname may have been the one scaring the guy off, but Zero stood there and covered Yuki's eyes so she wouldn't know what was going on.  LOL


I also finally got to read Vampire Knight Chapter 78! There's a scanlation here.  As usual, I don't know if this is the best version of the scan, etc. If you know of others feel free to post them in the comments.

AND MORE SPOILERS...

A lot seems to be happening now!  It was fun seeing Yuki, Aido and the others working together in the beginning.  Nice touch that her blood restores sanity to those who have taken the tainted blood tablets.  Makes sense, but it also sets up an interesting situation reminiscent of the past, depending on how it plays out.

Okay, I just have to say it.  Takuma and Shiki.  I swear, if those two didn't scream "pair me!" already, they most certainly do this chapter (to me, anyway).  There are different ways you could read what Shiki said, but it sure seemed to me that he intentionally took the tainted tablets so he could be by Takuma's side. I also wonder if he has the underlying motive of wanting to try to save Takuma from Sara.  I think Shiki is smarter than most people assume, and just seems otherwise because he was trained to act like a "good little doll" due to his upbringing.

I really feel for Takuma this chapter.  Sara so obviously has him trapped, snared by both his nature and her ability over him as a pureblood and by his good heart.  Takuma seems uniquely able to see buried pain and hurt in others, even (or perhaps especially) in purebloods.  He saw it in Kaname, and I think he sees it in Sara. I don't pity her, but I think he does in a way.  Of course, she's also addicted him to her, creating the kind of servant that she exactly wanted.  *glowers at her*  It's well painted, kind of like an abusive relationship and a drug addiction mixed into one, and exactly how I imagined it would be if an unscrupulous pureblood wished to dominate someone else.  It's a trifle scary that Sara reminds me a wee bit of Nasser from my fics at times.

I like that Yuki wanted to go save Takuma from Sara. I don't know how that's going to work out since things have suddenly taken quite another turn, but I hope that someone does eventually. (Is now having all kinds of angsty bunnies for what might happen if Shiki does stay by Takuma and therefore both of them are with Sara.  The manga keeps things clean, but of course my mind doesn't. So the idea of Shiki witnessing Sara using and abusing Takuma and the whole resulting tangle of angsty emotions is interesting to contemplate.  I wonder what Takuma would do if she started doing the same to Shiki?  I think he would try to stand up for him, but one wonders how far he could... *cough* okay, sorry, back to the actual chapter... *watches the bunnies gnawing away on her carpet* 

I'm glad that Yuki finally learned the truth about Sara being the one to kill that other pureblood and not Kaname. Maybe she'll realize that Sara did Ouri too.

I'm a little worried by some of Zero's actions in this chapter, especially regarding his lying to Cross and that one escaping vampire girl.  Um... Zero... you really don't want to be listening to or protecting Sara, trust me, if you want to talk about people who want to use you for their own purposes, that would be her (by her own very clear admission in this chapter).

I'm not sure if he didn't tell Cross about Sara's connection to the tainted tablets because of Yagari's instructions to keep Cross in the dark about some things and not interfere with Kaname's plans, or because he's temporarily protecting Sara due to whatever she's been telling him.  Or, because he doesn't entirely trust Cross anymore. I think he was trying to find out if Cross knew what Sara told him about Kaname's past actions.  Cross did know a lot about the past that he kept from both Zero and Yuki, so I can see where his suspicion comes from, but I fear that Cross didn't get what Zero was talking about, but that Zero probably takes what was said between them as confirmation of his fears.  He must feel very alone right now and adrift on who to trust.

I'm similarly not sure of Zero's motives for telling Yuki not to touch Sara.  I find it hard to believe that he would really protect any pureblood (other than Yuki) at this point, but I wonder if in his own way he would rather see her stay around as a counter to Kaname and let them deal with each other, or something.  Especially since the association is pressing on him to not interfere with Kaname himself.  So many tangled possibilities, it's all really quite an interesting mess! :)

The ending of the chapter is quite promising for some interesting times next chapter! Zero's interaction with Yuki when he pinned her to the wall and the way he spoke was really angsty and compelling. It was so good to see some of his real emotion on the surface again instead of that mask he's been hiding behind, even if it is hurt and angry emotion.  What he says about Kaname destroying everything definitely reinforces my notions about what Sara probably told him.  Whether or not it's true is another matter we'll have to wait and find out.    Good time for Kaname to show up. :D  Interesting, angsty times possibly just ahead. I know I'm an idiot, but I'm so happy to see Kaname and Zero in the same physical space again, been much too long. XD

Hm, I just had a really disturbing thought.  The way Sara was talking to Takuma about Zero "degrading" (becoming her servant I'm guessing) just like him... and the fact that the Hanadagi guardian seemed to indicate that Zero had come to Sara or visited her combined with the conversation Yuki and Maria had earlier about Zero's probably needing blood... I'm wondering / worrying about whether he's had the tainted tablets too or something.

You know, on a completely unrelated note I wish the Hanadagi guardian and the Hooded woman had names, it would make referring to them so much easier.  lol.

Anyway, it was all around an interesting chapter.  Looking forward to seeing the next one!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Merry Christmas and Egregious Rambling

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everybody!  Hope you are all having a good one!  Just wanted to let you all know that due to the natural craziness of the season, it's unlikely I'm going to have time to get the next chapter of "Secrets in the Dark" done and posted until after Christmas. I'm sorry for the continued delay, but I am going to try to work in time to write during the holidays at least, so hopefully I will have something done or at least close to done after New Years.

In honor of the season (yeah right, good excuse anyway lol) I shall share this totally random picture I found that looks kind of like it could be Zero all wrapped up in vines (to the left). XD Unfortunately, it's not Zero, it's from a completely different manga, but it really made me think of Zero.

Actually, the whole manga that this came from keeps giving me these great VK vibes without being at all related to anything LOL.  It's called "The Betrayal Knows my Name" and it's not about vampires, although it is about the supernatural. The very sweet main (guy) character's name is Yuki and he is looked over by a gorgeous, tall, dark beautiful guy named Luca (or Zess) who is very pureblood-like in how strong his power is as compared to others.

Then there's this one guy, Hotsuma who is like a three way cross between Zero, Kain and Aido if you can imagine that mix co-existing. XD That is to say, he looks like Kain and has the ability to burn things, but his temperament is a cross between Zero's stand-off tsunderness and feelings of being a monster and Aido's impulsiveness and tendency to act without thinking. :) The whole thing has distinctly yaoi vibes and several possible couples, although nothing happens (at least not yet anyway).

<= Luca / Zess looks a very little bit like Kaname at times and although Yuki doesn't really look much like Zero most of the time, it's enough to make me like it LOL. Actually, it's amusing because there's yet another boy in the story who looks even more like Zero, carries a gun as a weapon and works closely with his sister, a girl who uses a staff-like weapon which yet again brings my little obsessed brain back to VK (as does the fact that they're usually all running around in school uniforms). ;)

Also doesn't hurt that Luca has a painful history of having been owned by the Demon King (with some non-con hints/overtones), memories  of which seem to be destructive to him, and a fate from which he is apparently saved only by his contract with Yuki. Those scenes totally made me think of Secrets in the Dark. :)

Full cast photo below, although in the actual manga some of the characters look more or less like others, as I mentioned. I think it's an anime too, shall have to try to look it up if I ever have time.


Well, enough rambling for me. Going to go see how much more I can get done on "Secrets" before I have to start picking people up at the airport. :)

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Friday, December 9, 2011

Short Rambles, VK Pillows and Pics

Well, the past month or so kind of vanished into the mists, but I am around and I am trying to finish "Secrets in the Dark" so thank you all for your continued patience and for your sweetness and support and all the lovely comments after my last post, I really appreciate it.  Sorry I'm still a bit behind with my responses, I'm catching up slowly but surely.

A while back I posted about some cool Kaname and Zero body pillows, and I was delighted to see this post by Sagakure which tells about how they have released a new and delightfully more partially-naked version of the Zero pillow. 0:D  Click on the link to go see pics of it. :)

Also, I have been enjoying all of the lovely works being posted over on VKO!  So much wonderful creativity from everyone!  Was just drooling over several of mochifight's latest pictures, you should definitely go check them out if you haven't seen them yet. :)

I keep wanting to post about the last chapter of VK since there is so much interesting stuff happening, but that will still have to wait for a later date as I have to go right now. Hope everyone is having a good holiday season!

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Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween to everybody who celebrates it!  Hope you're all having a good one.  Anyone doing anything or dressing up as anything fun?  You may have already seen this, but Sagakure made some adorably cute Kaname, Zero and Yuki Halloween chibis!

Here's one of the Kaname and Zero sets... :)



Check them all out here. 

I'm sorry I haven't updated my story "Secrets in the Dark" in so long.  I am more than half-way done with the next chapter, but there's been a lot of different things happening that have been keeping me from having time to get it done.

A few of you already know, but for everyone else who doesn't, my fiance and I broke up back near the beginning of the year.  It was very hard for me and for a long time I just didn't want to talk about it.  Honestly, I guess in a way I still don't, which is why I've put off really mentioning it online until now.  It was a major contributor to my writing funk this year because it's hard to write romance when you're feeling the way I was feeling.  Time marches on and I feel like I'm mostly in an okay place about it all now, but it has caused a lot of changes in my life, including my living arrangements - which is the reason why I'm boring anyone reading this with the uninspiring details of my personal life. :P

For the past little while I have been sharing a place with a friend of mine and her two kids, all of whom are dears. I won't compromise my friend's privacy by going into details, but there has been a situation over the past couple weeks which has resulted in me temporarily needing to be in charge of the kids and has soaked up a lot of time for other reasons.  I'm confident everything will work out, but right now it's all a little crazy.  On the up-side, I'll be helping the kids with their costumes and taking them trick-or-treating tonight, which is an experience I've not had in years and I think it will be fun.  :)

Sorry for dumping all that out there, but this is what has been happening to my writing time lately and it was beginning to feel lame to just keep saying that life was getting in the way, even though it's true.  You all are very patient with me and I wanted to let you know it's not for a lack of wanting to get it done that it's been on hold so long. I am working on the next chapter, have it halfway done, actually. I will get it finished as soon as I am able.

Hope everyone has a great day, whether Halloween is a holiday in your country or not! :)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Vampire Knight 76 Raws

URG!! Life seriously needs to be put in the corner for a timeout right now.  :(  BUT popping in really quick to put up some links for Vampire Knight Chapter 76!

Chinese Raws on Baidu: http://tieba.baidu.com/p/1253925816

Rough Text Translation by Witless Fool: http://witlessfool.livejournal.com/14885.html

Extensive Summary / Translation by SGK: http://sagakure.livejournal.com/371796.html#cutid2

(SGK also has scans of a GREAT trio picture from the LaLa magazine and some other cool stuff on the above link) <3<3

Don't have time to say much right now, but loved Takuma fighting Sara's hold to try to not hurt Shiki (aw!) and slightly want to clonk Shiki on the head for not understanding what's going on. Also loved Zero and Yuki's moment and Kaname's angst (you can't tell me that him sort of kissing / licking the ground like that in his nightmare wasn't just a little hot!!).  And YAY for Yuki finally realizing that Sara is up to no good. 

Will write more when I have a little more time.  sigh...

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