My Vampire Heart

Oookay, sorry for the long silence. *glares at work and collapses in her chair, utterly exhausted* BUT the good news is I finally have the next chapter of Secrets in the Dark done! Phew! And it's a monster too. Probably the longest chapter I've ever written. It really should be broken up into two or three chapters, but it's so angsty I don't want to drag it out any longer and anyway, we can consider the extra long long chapter as make-up for not posting in a while. ;)

Secrets in the Dark (Zero x Kaname) by Blackened Wing
Chapter Nineteen: "Silent I Go Under"

Review Responses for Chapter Eighteen

Major tissue warnings, I had to eat a lot of chocolate to cheer up after writing parts of this chapter, lol. BUT we get a little bit of comfort at the end and we will get a LOT more next chapter! *hugs her Kaname plushie tightly and bawls until it is rescued by Zero plushie who snatches him away and runs off to hide behind the sofa with him where he can hug him and love him in peace* ;)

I'm sorry about a possible abundance of typos and overall generally crappy writing. Parts of it were written while I was stressed and lacked time and I fear that it shows, but hopefully parts of it are okay too. *keeps fingers crossed* Of course, I always think things suck after I write them, so who knows?

The title of the chapter comes from a song called "Hopeless" by Breaking Benjamin, which worked really well for the chapter.

Hopeless
Breaking Benjamin

Here I lie forever
Sorrow still remains
Will the water pull me down and wash it all away
Come and take me over
Welcome to the game
Will the current drag me down and carry me away
Suddenly the light begins to fade

HOPELESS
I'm falling down
FILTHY
I can't wake up
I can not hold on
I will not let go

WORTHLESS
It's over now
GUILTY
There's no way out
I can not hold on
I will not let go

Silent I go under
I am not afraid
I can see the daylight shine
And slowly drift away
Safe to say it's over
Sink into the grave
There is nothing left inside
But I am wide awake
I can hear the devil call my name...

Listen:


The mix of hopelessness and yet a determination to not let go even though it's becoming impossible seemed very fitting for what Kaname was going through.

Another song that I've been listening to while writing which also works really well at different points..

"World So Cold"
12 Stones

It starts with pain
Followed by hate
Fueled by the endless questions
No one can answer
A stain
Covers your heart
Tears you apart just like a sleeping cancer

[Chorus]
Now I don't believe men are born to be killers
I don't believe this world can't be saved
How did you get here and when did it start
An innocent child with a thorn in his heart

What kind of world to we live in
Where love is divided by hate
Losing control of our feelings
We all must be dreaming this life away
In a world so cold

Are you sane? Where's the shame
A moment of time passes by
You cannot rewind
Who's blame and where did it start
Is there a cure for your sickness, have you no heart?

[Chorus]

What kind of world do we live in
Where love is divided by hate
Selling our souls for no reason
We all must be dreaming this life away
In a world so cold

There's a sickness inside you that wants to escape
It's a feeling you get when you can't find your way
So how many times must you fall to your knees
Never, never, never, never, never do this again

It starts with pain followed by hate
Now I don't believe men are born to be killers
And I don't believe this world can't be saved

What kind of world do we live in
Where love is divided by hate
Losing control of our feelings
We're dreaming this life away

What kind of world do we live in
Where love is divided by hate
Selling our souls for no reason
We all must be dreaming this life away
In a world so cold...

Listen:



And in more fanfiction updates from other wonderful authors...

UPDATED STORIES:
Pleasure Dome - NineOrchids
Hold Me Now, It's My Turn - YenGirl
In Silence - YenGirl
The Stranger - Lightpathetic
Happy Anniversary - Ravyn Skye
Queens Die Proudly for their Kings - WritingMuse
Winter's Chill - Kafunshou Queen


NEW OR NEWLY ADDED:
Cut! - LeaNicolaie
Obnoxiously Yours - LeaNicolaie
Obsession - jiangryudo
I'll Make You See Me - TheSicklyRoseVamp1229
Hey, I'm Trying to Study Here - TheSicklyRoseVamp1229
You've Stolen My Heart - TheSicklyRoseVamp1229

All of these and more can be found on my Vampire Knight Fanfic Recs Page.

Sorry to anyone who I might have accidentally missed in the update. Also sorry to everyone who is still waiting for an email or response from me, thanks for your patience!

Labels: fanfiction updates, nasser x kaname, secrets in the dark, zero x kaname fanfiction

Posted by Blackened Wing at 2:45 PM | Permalink | Comments

Hi there, just a quick note to let everyone know that I haven't died... it only feels that way. LOL No, I take it back, dead people can't possibly have this much to do... :P

Anyway, what's up is that I've got an extra project at work that comes due next week and it's majorly soaking up my time, I even had to work on it over the weekend *sigh*. So that's why I've not been able to finish the next chapter of Secrets in the Dark yet, and why I'm so behind in answering emails and responding to comments, etc.

Well, it's also a little because the next chapter of Secrets is going to be fricking HUGE. :P It's turning out way longer than I expected (because of the ploty-stuff, not the bad stuff, don't worry!). I should probably turn it into two chapters, but I hate to do that because I promised only one more until we got back to the present... well, we'll see what happens.

Anyway, just wanted to say sorry for dropping off the face of the world temporarily *aaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!..... SPLAT* XD And I will catch up as soon as I can breathe again, thanks for your patience. ♥

Labels: life update, randomness

Posted by Blackened Wing at 7:14 PM | Permalink | Comments

YAY!!!! The translation of Vampire Knight Chapter 58 is done! Huge, HUGE thank you to Sagakure for her hard, dedicated and continued work in doing this for all us fans, even around her real life commitments and job, etc. We all appreciate it, thank you!!!

Read Vampire Knight Ch 58 on SGK's LJ

Read Vampire Knight Ch 58 on OneManga



POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD

I think this was a really interesting chapter for many reasons, especially because we have so many little bits of new information and answers which lead to more questions coming out like in the conversations between Cross and Isaya and between Rido and Kaname.

I also have to smile over the not so subtle yuri vibes with Sarah and the girls at the school... now we just need to see more yoai vibes... *nod nod* XD On a more serious note, I found it interesting about the "rules" she mentioned (apparently enforced by the hunters) regarding in what way it was and wasn't okay for a pureblood to turn a human.

Unfortunately, I'm too brain dead to ramble any further tonight. It's been a really long week and work has been horrid. It's usually busy for us at the end of the month, but 'twas especially bad this month. So I apologize to everyone who has commented or written me, etc. this past week whom I haven't responded too yet, I'll catch up as soon as I can.

Labels: vampire knight 58, vampire knight 58 scanlation, vampire knight chapter 58, vampire knight chapter 58 translation, vk 58

Posted by Blackened Wing at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments

Okay, it's that time again. Got another chapter of my ongoing Zero x Kaname fic "Secrets in the Dark" done. First though, I want to send a HUGE thank you to everyone who reviewed and enjoyed my St. Xocolat's Day fic!! :D You all are the best! Truly! I'm working my way through responding to folks individually, I'm sorry I'm so slow, but please know that everything you all said meant a lot to me! :)

Secrets in the Dark by Blackened Wing
Chapter Eighteen "Tattoo It on My Tainted Heart"

Review Responses for Chapter Seventeen this way...

Thank you everyone for the flood of reviews on the last chapter, I am both touched and moved and I really appreciate all the support. I was SO incredibly nervous and scared last chapter, you all helped a lot. :) *hugs everyone* Which is not to say that I'm not nervous all over again with this chapter... LOL *rolls eyes at herself* but hopefully if you survived last chapter, this one will be okay too. *keeps her fingers crossed and continues hiding under her rock just in case*

The chapter title comes from the song "Don't Belong" by Cold. I was listening to it a little while ago and couldn't help feeling that it fit really well with parts of this chapter, especially towards the end when Kaname is feeling all tainted and is kind of moving through the world but feeling like everything has changed, etc. It also has a haunting kind of double meaning I think, because while it could apply to Kaname feeling like he no longer belongs because of what happened to him, it also works for him feeling like he doesn't belong with his own kind because he 'can't be strong' when being 'strong' means being a heartless bastard like Nasser.


"Don't Belong" By Cold

My mind takes you to where you need to be
Cure for your heartbreak to take away the pain
I could describe each mistake for you
Tattoo it on my tainted heart

Well I won't ever tell the world
that I don't belong
Please don't ever tell the world
That I don't belong
That I don't belong

Can you still feel me or did I slip away
A sick man, a monster, broken still today
I can't explain what happens to me
Caught in the game I've always starred
I could describe each mistake for you
Tattoo it on my tainted heart

Well I won't ever tell the world
that I don't belong
Please don't ever tell the world
That I don't belong
That I don't belong

Well I won't ever change my ways
and I can't be strong
That I don't belong
and it's my own shame
I can't break your ways

Well I won't ever change my ways
and I can't be strong
please don't ever tell the world
that I don't belong
that I don't belong
that I don't belong...

Listen:




More Wonderful Fanfiction Updates:

UPDATED STORIES:
Hold Me Now, It's My Turn - YenGirl
His Eyes - ScarletMist
Sangreal - small_blue
A Place For Us - LightPathetic
What About Us? - Kanshou87
Blood is Red, Roses are Black - Kanshou87
Find Me - SilverAngryWolf


NEW OR NEWLY ADDED STORIES:
Unholy Matrimony - Penguita38
With Two - Ravyn Skye
Vampire Knight Shorts - Ravyn Skye
Calix Sanguinis Mei - Nerva al'Thor
Unspoken - Nerva al'Thor
Like A Charm, Like A Chant, Like A Prayer - Nerva al'Thor

These and others can all be found on my Vampire Knight Fanfiction Recs page.

As usual, I'm sure there's some updates I missed, and I have a small list of stories that are still waiting for me to have a chance to read them so I can see about adding them, so I apologize for any omissions.

Labels: don't belong lyrics, fanfiction updates, nasser x kaname, secrets in the dark, vampire knight fanfiction

Posted by Blackened Wing at 6:58 PM | Permalink | Comments

WOO HOO! The raws of the next chapter of VK have hit the net (early, from China as sometimes happens) and it looks like there are some nice big revelations, or at least twists in there!!

See the scans on the Chinese forum where they were posted.

Read a summary of the chapter on Sagakure's LJ.


BIIIIG SPOILERS AHEAD
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Okay, still here? Cool, then I'm going to go ahead and go: OMG~!!!! Rido's still alive!! I had wondered about that at one time, but totally discounted the possibility after a while because so much time passed and it seemed things were moving off in a different direction, so this twist was quite unexpected! And I love unexpected twists. :D

Although... oh no! Poor Kaname, looking all angsty and resigned as Rido is leaning close and all but groping him... XD Okay, okay, I know, who am I kidding? Of course I loved that part. XD

I mean, come on... you can't tell me Kaname isn't hot when he's angsty... (And we won't get into lovely evil!Rido either... *looks innocent*)





(all images are little, cropped versions of larger/better pics, go see the original scans for the real deal)

See? *cough* okay, okay, sorry, moving on...

Oh, but before I do... *skewers Rido for possibly actually killing a baby* >:E (sounds like there will be more revelation about the whole ancestor thing with Kaname in this chapter too, and it sounds sad *sniffs in advance*).

Looks like we'll be seeing some more interesting stuff with Sara and Takuma too. Is it just me, or does Sara seem to be especially fond of girls? ;)

Zero and Kaito are also looking good (especially Zero ♥) and Zero has found a new pureblood to look sexily ticked at *nods approvingly, quite content to give Zero permission to shoot her, although of course he can't, dang it*. XD Although Sara does have her redeeming points too, I'm sure... somewhere... oh! Like making Zero also look sexily frustrated/angsty! :D



Like that! :D *has a moment of completely AU fangirling wherein she imagines that that is Zero looking at what Rido's doing to Kaname in the pictures above...* 0:D

(Why yes, I have had too much coffee and sugar tonight, why do you ask? is it showing that much? LOL)

And of course I also liked the moment when Aido is being (well, or trying to be) protective of Yuki. I love Aido of course, and the relationship that is developing between he and Yuki is so cute.

Annnnd, I have rambled in complete circles all over the place. Yeah. I mentioned the caffeine and sugar thing, right? Well, anyway, just had to share the news!

Labels: kaname kuran, rido kuran, rido x kaname, vampire knight 58, vampire knight 58 raws, vampire knight chapter 58, vampire knight chapter 58 raws, zero kiriyu

Posted by Blackened Wing at 8:58 PM | Permalink | Comments

Happy Valentine's Day, or in Vampire Knight terms, St. Xocolat's Day everybody! :D

I did it! I finished and posted my fluffy, sappy, silly little Valentine's oneshot fic. It's probably over the top sweetness and not terribly well written, but if you haven't had your candy fix yet today... ;)

__________________________

St. Xocolat's Day
by Blackened Wing

Rating: M

Summary: Valentine's Fic - Kaname and Zero go away for a romantic weekend. Kaname always has lovely surprises for Zero, and this time, Zero has asurprise of his own in mind... (AU. Oneshot. Yaoi Lemon. Complete Fluff)

Warnings: Yaoi (slash, male/male), romantic lemons, established KxZ relationship, fluff and egregious sappiness ;D

Pairings: Kaname x Zero / Zero x Kaname

READ THE FIC

__________________________


Also, unrelatedly, noemi did an amazing pic of Kaname and Zero from my story "Secrets in the Dark" which I just have to share!! Check it out and leave her lots of wonderful comments, she deserves them! :)

VK - Come Back To Me by ~Noemi-C



Okay, that's all I have time for at the moment. Sorry this isn't a full fanfic update, etc. but I need to go attend to my own Valentine's plans now. :) I hope everyone has a great one! And Chinese New Year too, since that's also this weekend I think!

~PS: I'm sorry to everybody who is still waiting for an email or response from me, please forgive me, I'm behind again but I'll catch up. Thanks! *hearts and hugs*

Labels: happy valentines day, kaname and zero valentines, kaname x zero fanfiction, kaname x zero romance, st. xocolat's day, valentine's day, zero x kaname fanfiction, zero x kaname romance

Posted by Blackened Wing at 5:27 PM | Permalink | Comments

Okay, as promised, I got my Zero x Kaname story "Secrets in the Dark" updated!

Secrets in the Dark by Blackened Wing
Chapter Seventeen "Hell Remembered"

Review Responses for Chapter 16

This is where the bad stuff really starts... *sweatdrop* I have miles of warnings and notes on the header of the chapter, so I won't repeat them here, but please, read and heed the warnings before reading the chapter. *prepares to crawl under a rock if people hate her for this*

I'm kind of nervous about the chapter because of the darkness and the rape and all... and the fact that we've got at least two more chapters worth of Kaname's past to cover, all of which are going to be pretty intense and dark in different ways. *gulps* Hopefully it will be okay.

Definitely catering to the sadistic fangirls on this one. ;) I feel so bad for Kaname, but at the same time there's that whole thing where in fiction angst is good, while in real life it would be absolutely horrible, so... yeah... I hope everyone who does read the chapter likes it okay.


More Fanfiction Updates...

UPDATED STORIES:
The Stranger - LightPathetic
Winter's Chill - Kafunshou Queen
To Burn A Flyleaf - Kagamichihime
Bruised but not Destroyed - stallion14

NEW OR NEWLY ADDED STORIES:
Pleasure Dome - Nineorchids
Sangreal (This Is My Blood) - small_blue
Caecus parumper nox noctis - Shadow Shadowsong

All those and more are on my Kaname x Zero / Zero x Kaname Fanfiction Page.

Labels: kaname x zero fanfiction, secrets in the dark, vampire knight fanfiction updates, zero x kaname fanfiction

Posted by Blackened Wing at 10:31 PM | Permalink | Comments